1| I can affect the weather with my moods.
You will forever think of me when it rains.
My wrath was a hurricane whose winds you mis-categorized.
no shutters can protect you when the ferocity of my love turns to apathy.
I will leave you begging for hail on sunny days just to feel loved by me again.
You thought the false calm of my eye meant I was incapable of being a storm.
You will forever count the minutes after you see lightening
waiting for me to appear like thunder, But I will not be there.
2| I was relentlessly bullied as a kid.
I rarely cry because I used up all my tears back then.
I am not conceited.
I’m just making up for years of low self esteem.
I was not born an introvert.
But because in my house speaking out was met with violence.
my indoor voice never became outdoor again.
I am the volcano that swallowed it’s own lava.
3| I am a christian.
But I still can’t tell you why bad things happen to good people.
I still can’t tell you that I believe “love is a choice.”
I still can’t tell you that I believe a woman
is any less pure for being touched.
I am a christian, but a shitty one
because if you tell me to turn the other cheek
as an excuse to abuse me
I will slam your face into the concrete,
I will enjoy it,
I will not be sorry.
and the fact that I love god,
is not what you will remember of me.
4| I have an irrevocable need to take home all animals (especially dogs).
the thought of a creature not having a place to put unconditional love,
eats at me from the inside even though I’m extremely allergic
to everything with fur, I just need to be loved even if it kills me.
This is true for my animals and my people.
I give a home to all strays without asking if they wanted a home.
5| I see myself in every stray cat that doesn’t
check for cars or look both ways before crossing the street
because this is the only way I know how to love.
6| When we order fast food, I will eat all the fries
before we get home and I will give you the carton that has less.
I will keep the one with the most fries for myself,
the way I will keep my emotions to myself
and throw out the distasteful soggy burnt fries
the way I will try to throw out all
the distasteful soggy burnt parts in me
that I don’t think you can ever ingest or tolerate.
7| I am a very picky eater.
I don’t eat tomatoes, barbecue, ketchup, mushrooms, pickles,
any kind of seafood, olives, milk, anything with bones or blood in it.
I will still order all these things, just on the side,
so that I can put them on your plate along with my heart.
8| Also, my foods can’t touch each other on my plate.
and somedays I won’t want your hands to touch me either.
Somedays I’ll need to be left alone to feel free
and somedays I’ll need to be loved and loved and loved
despite the fact that I don’t like any of the foods other people like
or love any of the things other people love.
It will be hard for you to tell what kind of day it is
so on the days when you don’t know what I want,
bring me coffee, sit next to me, quietly.
and when I ask you to pass me the sugar,
know that’s my way of saying
“I love you too.”
mmool 